I’m really crabby today. Why? I have no clue. I don’t really have anything to be crabby about, but every little thing seems to be setting me off today.
I almost missed the bus this morning. Or at least I thought I was going to. Nevermind that there’s another bus that comes along 7 minutes later. That part seemed inconsequential to me at 6:50 this morning as I ran around the house, grabbing my things, slamming doors and swearing like a sailor. I was fine once I got to work, until a story about my co-worker’s ex-husband set me off. I don’t even know the guy. And sure, based on the stories I’ve heard he’s kind of an asshole, but yet, that wasn’t the word I used to describe him this morning. I used a word that rarely makes its way into civilized conversation. I actually surprised myself when I said it. Like, who am I right now?
But that’s not all.
I called my doctor’s office this morning to ask a question about ordering our medication. My phone call was returned by one of the women in their business office (who, in my personal opinion, are all bitches–and the only bad thing about working with our doctor’s office). She was her usual unfriendly, unhelpful self this morning and I was having NONE OF IT. I have a high tolerance for bullshit, but mess with me on the wrong day (read: today) and I will make you rue the day you gave me fucking attitude.
But wait; there’s more.
The normal lack of communication that befalls many workplaces is for some reason completely unacceptable today. Most days it’s a mild annoyance, but for some reason today I want to cut throats (figuratively, of course). It’s taking everything in my power not to walk into people’s offices and ask why they can’t respond to the email I sent 5 fucking hours ago, but the email of far lesser importance that was sent 5 minutes ago has been answered promptly.
What is my problem today? Is it hormones? If I weren’t starting another pack of birth control today, it would be “that time of the month” as they say. I haven’t been on birth control (except for the occasional pack prescribed to go with IUI) for years now. Is that it? I don’t know and that’s what worries me. If the hormones of a simple pack of birth control is going to set me off like this, what will twice daily hormone injections do?
Crossing my fingers that the next 2 hours go quickly and that I don’t have a meltdown. Because honestly, I don’t know if I’ll be in control at all at that point. All I know, is that the end of my work day can’t come fast enough. Hoping that a gym date with the boxing bag gets out all of this negative energy so I can enjoy a relaxing Monday night with my friends. Until then, I’ll be sitting in my office listening to 90s alternative way too loud and daring anyone to say anything about it.